my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
