...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
