three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
