you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
