i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
