I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
