Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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