how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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