Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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