One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
