chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
