i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
True strength comes from lack of pants
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
