i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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