YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
