Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
