It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
