I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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