I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
