There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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