Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
