Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
