I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't deserve a penis
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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