the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
