Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
