i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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