By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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