my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
