i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
