Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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