Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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