if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
