I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm too high and old for this...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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