i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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