Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
