OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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