i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize