Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
These tits shall not be calmed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
