i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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