and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
