I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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