No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
