Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
