So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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