If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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