I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
