Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
