And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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