Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
