There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
