bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
