covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
