Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
