Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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