I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
