I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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