they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
