You really coming over, don't trick.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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