I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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