I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
