xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
