I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
